Toughen up

Yesterday was the most gorgeous day. 80 degrees sun a blazin' I was actually sweating sitting on the porch. I let my chickens out as soon as I got home, no big deal, this is what we do everyday. They roam around our yard for 12 hours at a time on the weekends. Who knew this beautiful day would change what we do forever. Dave pulled into our driveway slowly as usual in case the dog or chickens were in the way, his coworkers were admiring our blooming fruit trees and as he looked over at our chickens he witnessed one being snatched by a fox. I had come inside to cool off and was looking at my favorite homesteading writers blog when Sunny died. From all of the cuss words that were coming out of Daves mouth I thought he had ran over one of my hens. He came bursting in the door to tell me what he just saw, by the time I got outside he was bringing me her dead body. I guess when he saw the fox take her he slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the truck and chased the fox through the woods which scared the fox so it dropped her and ran. At first I was mad and then I started bawling. I couldn't quit and I guess it was loud. Two of our neighbors came over to see what was happening. After I calmed down (a little) Dave and I went into the woods to find where this fox lives, I could have strangled it with my bare hands at this point. The time in the woods made me so mad at myself. Why did I leave them outside while I was inside on the computer? Was looking at her blog so stinking important? My poor husband had to listen to me sob all night. I feel a little guilty today, I was so consumed with sadness that I didn't think to ask him how he was. He had witnessed it. From that short moment of time I feel so violated. I won't let my dog off her leash, my poor hens are cooped up with no chance of release until the fox is caught or we build a run. Life around here is altered. I know it's "just a chicken" but it was MY chicken. Because I took this so hard, last night my husband said "you aren't a farmer"  but this morning he looked at my puffy red eyes and said "you are a farmer who cares too much for her chickens I will get that fox" I love my husband for understanding my feelings towards my animals, they are mine to take care of and if something goes wrong its my fault. I also love his machismo, he will get that fox I have no doubt about it!