Monday, February 18, 2013

For those of you checking your doe's butts everyday LOL!!!

Doe Code of Honor The doe’s secret code of honor is as old as goats themselves and is the species best kept secret. No doe shall ever kid before its time. (Its time being determined by the following factors): 1- No kid shall be born until total chaos has been reached by all involved. Your owner’s house must be a wreck, their family hungry and desperate for clean clothes, and their social life nonexistent. 2- “Midwives” must reach the babbling fool status before you kid out. Bloodshot eyes, tangled hair and the inability to form a sentence mean the time is getting close. 3- For every bell, beeper, camera or whistle they attach to you, kidding must be delayed by at least one day for each item. If they use an audio monitor, one good yell per hour will keep things interesting. 4- If you hear the words, “She’s nowhere near ready. She’ll be fine while we’re away for the weekend,” Wait until they load the car, then begin pushing! 5- Owner stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care of someone else, ten to fifteen phone calls a day is a sign you’re getting close. 6- When you hear the words “I can’t take it anymore!” wait at least three more days. 7 -You must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are mandatory! Little teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing your food around in the bucket and then walking away from it, and nesting, are always good for a rise. Be creative and find new things to do to keep the adrenaline pumping in those who wait. 8- The honor of all goats is now in your hands. Use this time to avenge all of your barn mates. Think about your friend who had to wear that silly costume in front of those people. Hang onto that baby for another day. OH, they made him do tricks too! Three more days seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad haircuts, those awful wormings can also be avenged at this time. 9- If you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when to have the kids, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that has been so generously provided by those who wait. Severe storm warning is what you’re waiting for. In the heart of the storm jump into action! The power could go out and you could have the last laugh. You have a good chance of those who wait missing the whole thing while searching for a flashlight that works! 10- Make the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time someone comes into the barn to check you. Your barn mates will love you as the extra goodies fall their way too. Remember, this code of honor was designed to remind man of how truly special goats are. Do your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful doeling to carry on the Doe Code of Honor for the next generation of those who wait.~~~~ Author Unknown~~~~~~~~ Sorry about the spacing! WONKY BLOGGER!!!!!

15 comments:

  1. Kinda just like the entrance of human babies into the world. Except I don't think goat mamas are nearly as eager to have the pregnancy over and done with as are the human mamas!

    Cute post!

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  2. Cute! In all seriousness you can tell when a goat is close to kidding without checking the vulva...you can feel around the tale head and see if her ligaments are 'loose' when she is ready to kid(within a day or two)you will be able to put your thumb and pointer finger around her tale head and they will touch, her ligaments will be very loose indicating she is ready to kid anytime...Maybe this will help those that get up in the night to check or keep lifting the tale...LOL

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    1. I think I'm in the habit of tail lifting and ligament feeling! I can't wait for our first time to be over with!!!

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  3. The feeling of the tail head works good on some goats, not so much on Angoras that need to be sheared twice a year and unfortunately did not get done last September. There is noting like being deadly sick all day, struggling to go do chores at 6:00 p.m. bearly able to lift a flake of hay ... only to find 2 Angoras with 2 babies, and one still in labor, try to put wrong baby with wrong mama, find scissors and cut away hair covering udder, unplug udder, babies still had not nursed by 9:00 p.m., milk out enough colustrum to get them started, bring in the house to spend the night in the bathtub .... hmmmm, I think I just committed to bottle babies, and milking Angoras, need a short milking stool.

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    1. Oh my! I can't imagine your crazy night and not feeling well. Congrats on your babies though! Angoras are soo cute! I found an antique milking stool on CL for $10. I love it! Now I just need to get the goat birthing over with, so I can start milking!

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  4. Not quite to the point where I'm doing "butt checks". But give me another eight or nine days and I'll be going around like the raving nutjobs you posted.
    Thanks for the giggle!

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    1. LOL! I hope I won't be doing this next year. I left them together too long and so I don't know the exact due date! I see the importance of more controlled breeding now! I have been looking at teats, udders, vulva's, and ligaments for weeks now! I think it's almost time though, who knows LOL!

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  5. wow ! ..yep that is all I have to say.."wow! lol

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    1. I know, just wait until you get your homestead. You can join the tail lifting crazy lady club LOL!!!

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  6. I went nutso over a cat having kittens. The vet finally told me after a dozen calls that the cat knew what she was doing.

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    1. LOL! I was the same with my bunny. I was days from giving up on her and then out popped babies!

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  7. This is hilarious!! You know all those bleats they put out are just reinforcing their code :)

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    1. I know! I check on her numerous times a day and now she likes it. So she screams for me to come back, which I do of course. It's a vicious cycle!

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  8. Ever who wrote that has been in my barnyard!

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